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@MedCircle Says:
Watch the rest of this series instantly HERE: https://bit.ly/3eze6mh
@karenwood2928 Says:
Ok, so if we should have compassion and stay engaged with someone with BPD should we also have compassion and stay engaged with someone with NPD because it's not who they really are? Why do we accommodate BPD lashing out, but not NPD lashing out? Both disorders are rooted in trauma, and both can potentially cause acting out behavior that is harmful. And, to be clear, I’m not saying we shouldn’t have compassion for people, I just don’t understand the wildly different responses to NPD vs BPD.
@Mv-Wildchild Says:
I have bpd it sucks i have no family no support when i saw none i ive alone on a boat with my dog .. i call mine the. Hyde because thats how i feel like a rea life dr jekyle and hyde ive been in treatment three years i have made some progress its still very hard daily
@Tawroset Says:
Thank you for this. When you listed possible comorbid disorders, I had to laugh, because I've got every single one of them lol!
@Pedals123 Says:
Thank you so much for this video. The struggle to be understood Is very real.
@bronaghtadhg Says:
I've been thinking a lot lately that BPD is mislabeled as a personality disorder. I think when BPD was first included in the DSM, it was placed in personality disorders because it was a chronic condition and they didn't know where else to put it because it doesn't fit neatly into either an affective, anxiety, impulse-control, or dissociative disorder. I think it might be better to develop a new category of disorder called something like Regulation Disorders, and fine tune the BPD diagnosis to either one or multiple new disorders under that category. I feel that would also help with some of the stigma, as "personality disorder" gives an implication that the symptoms aren't happening TO the person but are the person willfully acting however they choose. I think it would help separate the illness from the person and change the perspective from "difficult person" to "difficult disorder".
@sandonique Says:
I’m sure no one will see my comment since this is a video from 3 years ago. Dr. Ramani say it’s important for family to participate in therapy w/ loved one who has BPD. What if the family is toxic narcissist that also let other family bully & terrorize you? I don’t want them near me.
@Sandytarka Says:
I love learning more about illnesses within the Neuro Typical spectrum. Thank you
@pumamanta1771 Says:
Where can I get a real diagnosis ? If I don’t mention my family has a few diagnoses, a 2 of them diagnosed and 2 I believe are not diagnosed besides myself. I’ve been treated mostly as someone with chronic depression and chronic pain+fatigue. I struggle in life due to bad self esteem and deep depression and anxiety.
@milarosenrot Says:
I have bpd and wish everyone had your compassion 😢 I don’t want to feel this way I struggle and battle everyday with myself. More love less hate people
@charlesbromberick4247 Says:
If you love someone enough....
@fishingdownsouth1256 Says:
As someone with BPD i that you for this video
@michaelscott-kj3ir Says:
https://youtu.be/Ac7YJJVXB8U Dr. Gunderson talks about people who have recovered from BPD without having intense inpatient treatment. Outpatient treatment twice per week of DBT treatment might take longer but recovery is still possible
@m.fazlurrahman5854 Says:
Borderline personality and dementia are completely unrelated. The former being the classification category on which a subject falls under, the later is a nothing but a medical condition. So drawing any reference between these two are wrong AGE is the primary variable differentiating these unless the subject is also suffering from DROWN syndrome.
@justaconversation3729 Says:
What if the person with BPD doesn't have any family to help them or support them?
@rheababla5503 Says:
Ugh I hate this stuff. Accept people and understand themmmmm
@gingerpetrini6205 Says:
Being friends with her living with someone who has this disorder is like living with someone who beats you all the time. There’s days when everything‘s great and you’re their favorite person in the world and then it just flips and they hate you you’re the liar you’re cheating you’re stealing you’re awful and they want to get you out of their life it’s an abusive relationship I don’t know why anyone would stay in this relationship and that’s what this field to be in a relationship with somebody who has BPD
@nitusonder9698 Says:
Whew.
@jamiesexton2522 Says:
I have BPD, and my whole family has blocked me on social media/email/phone. It makes the symptoms so much worse.
@shankarmenon6448 Says:
How to contact you?
@Sango-po5pi Says:
Yes but people develop BPD because their family emotionally and psychologically and perhaps physically abused them in the first place. We were not born this way.
@eottoe2001 Says:
Hypothetically, I agree with Dr. Romani, but I found that if you tell a borderline person to tone it down, good luck because that it going to be met with anger first, denial that they have a tone problem, and then they will bring up every time you might have said something without the proper tone over the past 40 years. However, not to be remiss they will bring up something like, "Your tone is why you weren't able to keep that beautiful first wife you married and you are complaining about my inflection?" At this point, your legs have been cut off because the marriage you haven't thought about for 25 years comes at you in a flash.
@andrewphillips-hird3761 Says:
To be honest, while I see where Kyle is coming from, I (as a person with BPD) don't like the "BPD monster" thing - I don't like to do it myself, I don't like when other people label something I say or do as such, nor do I like to hear other people with BPD do this. I feel like it is a failure to take ownership of our actions. And I'm all for being self-compassionate and hopefully having others allow me to help them understand *why* I might be behaving so errratically, but at the end of the day it's something I need to try my best to reduce as much as possible. And while it's rare that I manage to completely restrain myself, I need to do so to the best of my ability at that time, and that involves acknowledging that, unlike in (what were formerly known as Axis I disorders), my affects, behaviours, and cognitions that together form a pattern that can reasonably be labelled BPD are not detachable and cannot be disavowed: they are a part of who I am and I need to do accept that to an extent while I work on attenuating the traits I dislike and doing damage control.
@RobinVerne Says:
BPD's engage in splitting, notorious liars, and narcissist...no. As a sister-in-law of a diagnosed BPD, I have had to ignore and put up with a lot of unnecessary grief. Traditional meds work. As a health care provider, I do not buy into this concept. All people deserve love and compassion, and most importantly truthful health care modalities.
@averagebodybuilder Says:
So the BPD turns the rest of us into patients? To hell with that.
@averagebodybuilder Says:
My BPD relative says we have to watch what we say but he can do/say whatever he wants. And he has gone violent
@kamirom555 Says:
POOP EVERYWHERE
@dryroastedpnutta6253 Says:
Anyone else burn all their bridges? I've played my friends videos of what bpd is and they still think I'm using it as an excuse or faking it. So exasperating...
@Lin.1703 Says:
I one thousand percent agree with this this video actually infuriated me and made me feel worse
@Lin.1703 Says:
All this video did was make me feel worse family members must suck it all up
@Lin.1703 Says:
There is no one to support family being abused by their bpd loved ones im so tired of you all bending over backwards but leaving the family to deal with it alone. It’s like do everything for them take everything I’m so sick of it
@specialwiener7046 Says:
this hurt to see but was also so insightful .I wish people would ubderstand bpd like that...i hate that i have to border my boyfriend with my moods and veibg so sensitive to Tones or small "negative" comments but when i voice my issue with These thibgs people feel offended
@DD-jm5ug Says:
This makes a change from others saying we are toxic and trouble makers. Thankyou ❤ DR Daniel Fox's Channel is also extremely supportive ❤
@whizzingbye Says:
all due respect as a straight man diagnosed if was evil to my ex walkimng on eggshells is an understatements, good reason s im alone now. werre younger and while im introverted massively . for so long i was normal then mum died baby born and blammed mrs for something in heinsieght was paranoid thought. now im a speed head probably left my ex with at least thoughts that would cause her negativity and walked out of my daughters life the same age my dad left which is someti,mes what i put down to myself having issues . now amphetamuine addict massively but weirdly stable knowing suicide is coming but dont want too. Years ago possibly was attention as a male taking OD is this ntime theres no attention to try and gain . i was asked today if u think i will do. "i hope not " was the answer. I could achieve something legacy defining from the work on myself during living street homeless. would be a waste. wish sometimes i could leave something lasting to help people, and for my daughter to see and benefit off. my only regret was walking away as shhe ran to me but as a whiss head id have let her down neway. perhaps the end is the correct way. why has it all gone 19
@user-kz3gk1tp7z Says:
If BPD is most of the times result of the family wrong actions it's almost impossible the treatment with them.
@Tryingtohelpnow Says:
How can the family help when they are the one that created this learned behavior from abuse?
@no.6377 Says:
I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but I did notice that I display a lot of the symptoms of BPD - the "splitting" being the most obvious thing for me. Thankfully I'm more the inward type and it hasn't affected my life or anyone else too terriby. The way it's been vilified so thoroughly, even by the medical community, makes me want to avoid a real diagnosis and just try to get over myself by myself, though. I type this like I have a choice considering how expensive (and *highly* stigmatized) therapy is in my country 😂😂😭
@TiaAlleyne Says:
I love watching her videos, it’s like she’s in my head 😢
@anintellectualneanderthal2465 Says:
Care and love does not work for BPD sorry
@MaxwellMcKinnon Says:
The problem with “it’s the bpd talking” rationale is it buries the needs of the person being abused by the bpd. It’s not at all the same as someone with dementia forgetting your name but rather someone drunk abusing you. Blaming it on the alcohol talking isn’t adequate. My advice having lived through it and for years thinking I was the problem and very confused: get intense dbt help and have a deadline for getting out. It’s sad to find a loved one has bpd, but due to the nature of bpd it’s so easy to fall into an enabler in the name of being supportive. You wouldn’t give the keys to a drunk driver, don’t give the keys for the conversation to the bpd episode. Nothing logical or productive ever comes out of it, and if kids are involved in the argument, just do what is reasonably fair for all parties and move on, don’t try to get input from bpd in the name of a fair and logical discussion.
@Eisvogelllpoem Says:
Idk maybe because people with bpd tent to be abusive, manipulative, constantly threatening to kill themselves.., people with dementia don’t really do that, lol.
It’s hard to have compassion with someone that constantly stabs a (symbolic) knife into your heart.
@love196627 Says:
there needs to be this kind of family education online for those without the in person option
I'm family of a daughter with BPD. my son and I are pouring through the internet to get educated but it would be unbelievably helpful if there was just a series of videos on how to adjust our behavior to help her.
@CindyWarren2004 Says:
I m a 17 year old with bpd. Had suspicions from when I was 15. I watched one of your interviews on bpd and bipolar and realised how much I relate. Got diagnosed only recently. People with bpd are deserving of love, compassion and kindness just as much as anyone else.
@oliviabigley3378 Says:
I’m really interested in this conversation since my step-sister has BPD and I try to understand her. Though, it’s getting really tough to be mindful since she accused me of assaulting her when we were preteens last year.
I only saw her when she would live with her mom or during family reunions, so I barely ever get to talk to her. She’s had it tough too though since she’s constantly moving back and forth between households.
From what my dad and stepmom say, she’s been to multiple therapists and has only liked one, but they were not really giving much advice and more just offering their ear.
So, I don’t think she knows the coping mechanisms to use when her emotions start to get out of control.
I really don’t want her to end up in a terrible place or be in a bad situation when she decides to leave and live on her own.
@heartspacerelaxations6924 Says:
Excellent video. We should treat other personality traits and disorders with the same compassion, as they are often developmental / genetic / environmental.
The talk of it all being a choice makes little sense when distorted perceptions and core beliefs created before a child even had a fully developed brain, are what drives behaviours.
@breahgardiner3702 Says:
When I ask for accommodations it's seen as entitlement;(
@CartWheelzOfRage Says:
listening to dr.ramani heals my soul
@lindaolesen6522 Says:
I still feel like norms don't understand fully
@danecory1236 Says:
This is why I’ve been able to stay in a relationship. We are getting married in two weeks and have been together for 5 years. My wife sees my BPD as separate from me and not who I am, but something I deal with. She has compassion for me. I give her all the credit.
@meggo329 Says:
Amber heard is giving everyone with this disorder a bad name.
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