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On Today's Episode:
Social settings either get you hype and excited or they make you think of a thousand other things you'd rather do and any excuse that will get you off the hook from having to go.
When your fear of being around people and having to interact with them costs your dreams, your opportunities, and your growth, you have to do something different.
Vanessa Van Edwards, a.k.a. The recovering awkward person that sold millions of copies of her bestselling books, Captivate and Cues, has more tips than you can remember, so get the pen and paper or your favorite note-taking app ready. Her work with her company the Science of People has been dedicated to helping you learn to stop being awkward, start better conversations, connect with people and understand their verbal and nonverbal cues.
Some key points Vanessa share in this masterclass is:
How to master charisma
Why you want to listen to your gut
Understanding your level of openness, neuroticism and conscientiousness
Understanding your psychology is just the beginning. Knowing how to interpret cues in different social contexts and when to address them is next level. Vanessa gives away key ips for understanding yourself and the people around you. Warmth and competence is the magic dose to look for.
Books to check out by Vanessa Van Edwards:
Captivate: https://amzn.to/3IVvvZh
Cues: https://amzn.to/3wbVxjt
QUOTES:
'I would rather you be aware of the cues that are being sent to you to know, 'I want this or I don't' because they are that powerful, that if someone has bad intentions, they can still produce trust.'
'This is the challenge we have as cue readers, do you want to address the emotion or the cue?'
'I think that people who doubt their ideas, and they doubt themselves, that leaks in their cues.'
'High neurotics prevent crises from happening in the first place.'
'I would rather live in hard truth than in ignorant bliss.'
'Charisma is the perfect blend of being likable and powerful.'
'Competence without warmth leaves people feeling suspicious.'
'The best thing you can do is open with warmth, hit them with competence, and end with purpose.
Follow Vanessa Van Edwards:
Website: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/VanessaVanEdwardsYT/featured
Twitter: https://twitter.com/vvanedwards
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vvanedwards/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vvanedwards/
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
@Horseshitte Says:
I don’t know about Jedi. I think she, If she choose’s so. She would lead you around the room on your knees.
Great show. No disrespect intended. she is very good at what she does.
@Doll_17-23 Says:
Ideal woman
High in conscientiousness
High in agreeableness
High or medium neuroticism (worry but cute)
Very Spontaneous and extroverted and bubbly
High in openness
Adventurous and imaginative
Charisma is a blend of likability warmth (likeable, friendly, compassionate,trustworthy) power competence (capable,powerful,impressive)
Micro advantage
Nodding
Smiling
Widen eyebrows
Negative non-verbal
Lean back
Hmm face
Pinch eyebrows
Crinkle nose
Turn away face
Biting nails
Be grateful
@jasonstephenson9959 Says:
Normal people will not be learning your material con man will so you lost and so did they. That's just the nature of the evil world we live in
@HeyDerekYin Says:
This spoke to my soul 🧠❤
@e.s.p.illustrated1246 Says:
just a headache immediately
@IWillAndMeHole Says:
Two cold snakes having a chat. Wouldn't trust either one inch.
@GOD_EN-237 Says:
Please how can we get the list of questions?
@SamLee-ur7xl Says:
Careful there. Oxytocin spray can trigger your checked racist tendencies to the extreme for a small number of people.
@TerryCollinsP31Lifestyle Says:
Great interview
@edgartokman4898 Says:
Intelligent people simply think differently than average people. Their thoughts are on a whole different level, and when they’re with normal people, the expectation is generally that they’re supposed to change to “fit in.”Intelligent people can have a hard time connecting with average people because they are not average.
@Peterbrendanalbert Says:
Ironic She starts with voice rejection.
@Midwest_Slim Says:
Shout out to our POTUS for giving "the pat" (which she refererenced without saying his name). A man who instinctually knows how to display dominance and superiority. 🍿
@markvenicio8386 Says:
He looked like he turned into the three little mice 🐁 lol 😂
@nobodyknows3180 Says:
I googled "Lower Lid Flex" and the only hits I got referred back to this woman. I guess somehow she came up with this idea to make herself stand out from the crowd by pretending that "Lower Lid Flex" is actually a thing we all need to care about.
@costierafashion9183 Says:
Fyp
@nobodyknows3180 Says:
LOL! I gave up listening when this dingbat started making out that vocal fry is some sort of 'personality flaw' that I need to be ashamed of. There is a whole other batch of women who will tell you vocal fry is actually sexy as hell.
@AlexQoelet Says:
The sheer amount of jeuish "writers" aka grifters being astroturfed on YT is insane
@andrew7202 Says:
As some who love no verbals and how it all plays out such an interesting interview!! Here’s a question for you guys, how do you control you emotions to be able to see these tells and ask the right questions base off what you see
@ToriMyers-q2d Says:
I totally get that feeling. You try to stay cool, but the moment someone you actually want to talk to engages, the anxiety kicks in, and it feels like everything falls apart. Then comes that frustration with yourself—it’s such a tough cycle. Have you ever tried grounding techniques or little conversation strategies to help ease the anxiousness in the moment?
@gstuart0770 Says:
Tom: please relearn to be playful. Let your inner child out.
@gstuart0770 Says:
Tom: Chill out and enjoy their company. You are in control of your present future. Please put your guard down, and act like a true ninja warrior.
@gstuart0770 Says:
Tom has some serious trust issues. She doesn't want anything from you and you still don't trust her. "Emotional damage"
@aaamoreec Says:
Why you mixing episodes?
@704LucasM Says:
science is not to call attention guys. Stop use science articles for personal credit.
Some people are smarter than others, it is a mechanical thing, some have talent others, do not. Not to accept this is give your worst abilities to the world.
She is talking about being convincing not being that at all, because of the lack of knowledge and competence.
@weschancellor489 Says:
Would you please point out that women learn to Masturbate as infants so men are trying to win women who do not need them. !!!!!!!!!
@mrGapMan1 Says:
Women are just too concerned with details when it comes to relationships, it's where toxic is born. Men don't think much about these details and this makes us more honest and less toxic overall.
@REDLIGHTGLASSESonthischannel Says:
Fantastic advice, thank you all
@bellottibellotti9185 Says:
the Kardashians are in perpetual vocal fry - what's their angle
@Michael-sl2xj Says:
Im in to this video and got nothing out of it like it is advertised.and it only tells people what i think everyone already knows i dont know how they stay on here
@H...9346 Says:
What a load of crap
@mattsheezy5469 Says:
I have pretty girls look at me like they’re interested, but I’m so old now that it’s not even worth talking. Once you don’t care that much about sex, everything else in life goes out the window.
@MarthaAmato-i7y Says:
I love Vanessa Von Edwards. Her talks are very interesting.
@KingKatura Says:
12:03 no point in her worrying about that con men likely know more about than she ever could. It’s likely that’s where she learned it to begin with was from various types of those people.
@LarryUlrichsen Says:
Vanessa leaves me with a yearning for her presence in my life. Vanessa is Brilliantly
Connected to Fulfilment.:)
@Janzer_ Says:
what a bunch of horse 💩
@rick0000122 Says:
Smart lady!
@JWFitness1 Says:
The part about the hands is true. Think about the movie The Godfather when Michael was in front of the hospital with the florist. His hands were shaking terribly, but his face was calm...
@LongDistanceMom Says:
When I ask my husband if his fine but he actually isn’t because it shows in his face. I usually tell him “ well tell it to your face?” 😂 then he tells me what’s on his mind. it works all the time
@speliotis Says:
42 times
@diazedvin04 Says:
This lady is all trashhh talking
@arshaad252 Says:
I watch your channel because you encounter amazing people. the art of seduction is infallible. This conversation is priceless because it touches the very thing that is constant in this modern world - influence. We are constantly being manipulated by data and influencers. Which is why I like to venture in the old world, cut off from the stream of virtual information. To study psychology is to study manipulation. A fine line separates the psychologist from the psychopath. To venture into the powers of mind and emotion is quite complex. Relationships in general are quite complex.
@arshaad252 Says:
to be intimidating is a complex science.
@FkAds-k5j Says:
@tombilyeu took a shot everytime you said “Like, Like, Like Like, Like,” now im wasted.
Please let your brain finish before throwing sentences out there.
@ThoughtAfterThought Says:
WAITING for women to realise its called a Pony Tail because of the phonetic Whores / Horse correlation #cues
@timhysell671 Says:
I bought "Cues". I really love this woman. She knows what she's talking about.
@mihaigabrielvale Says:
I hope you scratch your mustache now that you posted your hand like that on your shoe! Dislike for that!
@Cire_eM Says:
29:09 I see. Wait, no I don’t. Im confused. Her hairstyle is so tight my head hurts. Being observant would allow the average person to have learned this long ago. To give credit- if a female has the qualities she’s describing, they are ahead of the rest in finding a partner.
@thegreatone5381 Says:
This girl just copied from andrew bustamante.... Aldo people knew that the people jumped from the plane so that's why they experienced fear not bc of the sweat
@leemicheal895 Says:
She’s changed from when I first saw her a few years back it’s like that with a lot of folks well not Robert Greene he still looks the same as well his mannerism.
Success does change people..
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