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On Today's Episode:
Being in a romantic relationship can go from feeling like an incredible high to something totally frustrating. You look at your partner and wonder what's wrong with them, why can't they understand what you're saying, and why do they do things that drive you crazy?
Often, relationships go south because both of the people in the relationship have things to work through and have expectations of the other person being able to work around all of their baggage and trauma without much communication of what's actually going on.
Jay Shetty has lived the life of a monk, and as a life coach, podcaster, speaker and best selling author, he's been able to bring his learnings and his experience to people around the world. His latest book, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find, It Keep It, and Let It Go addresses what it looks like to figure out love for ourselves and bring that into every kind of relationship we have.
In this conversation with Tom, Jay talks about the things we accept as currency of love because we haven't defined and truly understood or experienced love with ourselves first. Sitting with yourself, listening and understanding your inner dialogue and self-talk is a major part of this journey to finding healthy long lasting love.
How much time have you taken to yourself between relationships with yourself?
Check out Jay Shetty's latest book, 8 Rules of Love: https://www.amazon.com/Rules-Love-How-Find-Keep/dp/1982183063
QUOTES:
'I've still not found a better solution to self-awareness than solitude.'
'We've lost the art of self-talk and self-dialogue.'
'That's why sitting with your thoughts for 15 minutes is really hard because there's nothing to numb it.'
'If walk into a relationship and you don't know who you are, you don't know what you need or what you want and what you want and what you're building and what you're creating, you're basically going to hope that the other person is going to answer all of those questions for you, or you're going to outsource that inadequacy to them to make you feel worthy.'
'We accept the currency of attention as love. We accept the currency of validation as love, [...] because we ourselves haven't defined and experienced what love looks like on our own.'
Follow Jay Shetty:
Website: https://jayshetty.me/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbV60AGIHKz2xIGvbk0LLvg
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jayshettyiw
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayshetty/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayShettyIW/
Podcast: https://on-purpose-with-jay-shetty.simplecast.com/
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
@Un0rthodox475 Says:
The part about trust speaks to me a lot and has helped me understand why I tend to distrust anyone who gives me unconditional trust upon meeting me for the first time. I also feel a sense of uneasiness with the idea that I could dissapoint this persons unconditional trust for me.
@bossman674 Says:
This guy is so full of shit. How has he still got a career… Tom is great though!
@danielledang4610 Says:
Loved the content!! I wish Jay shetty was a bit clearer. Your audio is very good but Jay sounds far away!
@dadsaid101 Says:
Started following Jay even before his book Think like a Monk, and I always enjoy his charisma 😊
@them3rkcr3w65 Says:
❤❤❤
@CandyLemon36 Says:
The compelling narrative of this content is deeply impactful. A book with congruent themes was a defining life event. "Dominating Your Clock: Strategies for Professional and Personal Success" by Anthony Rivers
@gracejasinthpriyadarsini2489 Says:
Admirable speech l love and appreciate my favourite speaker Jay genius l love his speech very much.
@WEAREALLONEOFTHESAMESOUL Says:
❤️ 💯❤️💯❤️💯
@KodakCollective Says:
1:20:45 dude says “yeah” for 2 minutes straight 😂 but it was kind of the only option
@snejdimitrova8501 Says:
Thank you guys ❤
@parvathynsp Says:
Loved the discussion. Usually Jay talks and the other person agrees.. but this conversation was different. There were many counter points and the resulting conversation was really really interesting
@AKandCo786 Says:
Nice🫶
@claudinediamond2555 Says:
I just watched the history of marriage. It seems like it mostly benefits men. I won’t do it again. It’s not for me.
@murtithinker7660 Says:
You cannot protect your kids even from their own feelings. You'all are paranoid.
@murtithinker7660 Says:
Why is everyone trying to say they wanna have kids? Why can't certain people boldly say the truth, because not everyone is mean to have kids. I can't listen to people who bs.
@baziformacao Says:
Two man with amazing comunication skills. Inspiring. Thank you!
@prominingdigitalEAi Says:
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@dumezwenimpofu9168 Says:
Perfect combo, I have always loved it when Tom interviews Jay.
From the first one to this third..all your interviews require one to grab a pen and a note book
@oznetyoutube125 Says:
Like and Love. To Like is to be a Florist, To Love is to be a Gardener.
Enter Your friendships as a Florist ( see their beauty ) , Enter Your Relationships as a Gardener ( grow and maintain their beauty).
@oznetyoutube125 Says:
Job suffered unspeakably, but never lost sight of The Greater Good and He was the only Man ever to be called Gods Friend.
@6FootVampire Says:
Tom doesn’t understand why thoughts can destroy you, because he has not experienced sufficient trauma to know.
The thoughts can be unstoppable. Its like bathing in ice but YOU dont have control over when you get out.
Tom, you should have more people on who knows about trauma.
@patlikesballs Says:
I wish that the struggles you are already going through bring you profound self value
@camilanouer4190 Says:
Tom, u r so annoying.. bless ur heart Jay
@Tipsandcoffee Says:
I was married 35 years till I became a widow, we got married barefooted, in simple clothes and with our family and friends. We had our hands bound for two days, and we drank wine. It was beautiful.
@PRIYAJAY-SHETTY Says:
I love you too baby missing you so much for your precious time to meet you jay Shetty JI WEDS PRIYA SINGH WEDS JAY GHANSHYAM SHETTY JI KI WIFE PRIYA SINGH 🙏💋🙏💋💋💞 I WILL DO MARRYING JAY SHETTY JI KI WIFE PRIYA SINGH WEDS JAY GHANSHYAM SHETTY JI KI WIFE PRIYA SINGH WEDS JAY GHANSHYAM SHETTY JI KI WIFE PRIYA SINGH 🔜😳😞😢 full of bliss and happiness and joy and prosperity in your life with you and your family a very happy birthday 🎁🎉🙏🎉🙏🎉 MARRYING ME JAY GHANSHYAM SHETTY JI 😔😐😔 SORRY JI KI WIFE PRIYA SINGH WEDS JAY GHANSHYAM SHETTY JI KI WIFE PRIYA SINGH 🙏💋🙏💋 THANK you so much for your precious time to meet you jay Shetty JI WEDS PRIYA SINGH 🔜😳😇😇😇🙏
@garethconner1009 Says:
this guy (jay) was pretty much proven to be a charlatan
@ElleChristie1111 Says:
I LOVE this episode! I’m just finding the awesomeness of Jay Sherry. This is good.
@beanelson7350 Says:
I love how exciting Jay gets when he is talking from the Heart. I get the same way. I just push more people to have these type of conversations. Just love this conversation between them. 😊
@shyneray250 Says:
It's always a Huge service to us for these 2 to sit for a conversation together! I agree with Jay that both of them are quite similar in a lot of ways!!
@zynlove6867 Says:
Im here to learn from Jay, love his response to the masculine feminine situation. I agree, souls. I am so glad he got to say this because anytime ive heard this podcast its one thing i cant get down with how he defines sexes so strictly. Imo humans are JUST vehicles for souls with all sorts of energy. That is from a spiritual aspect. I see you Jay.🕉🙏🏼
@susanmiyashiro2828 Says:
What a powerful message. I love the flower analogy❤❤
@sibabalomthembu Says:
What you guys talk about is really fascinating some of the things you have spoken about have made me think a lot harder and deeply about what I want in life in general so shout out to you guys continue serving
@reneknowlden3259 Says:
Tell me without telling me Jay Shetty is a Virgo.!
I think it’s the people who don’t like who they are as a person who can’t be alone.
@jacobmaitland-foon7926 Says:
solitude will decimate only what you're attached to. The more you try to hold on, the harder and heavier it becomes. Let go and accept things as they are. Reflections of vibrations objects that create false fulfilment. The only thing that is really immortal is universal love. Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
@terriblue9792 Says:
I met Jesus.. a totally different thought from the life that I was living. I’ve learned that all wisdom comes from Him, whether you know, love Him or not. I love listening to Toms guest and this one here, Jay is a favorite.. Don’t stop seeking at the monks.. He might just be seeking Jay and Tom too🥰
@KhanKhan-fw9fb Says:
C. So. N
@saraharcher9901 Says:
How much fun you’re having is way more important than how many people are there!!
@moneymakingnathan Says:
Tom u da man
@garyking6862 Says:
Tom, you and Jay slipped over into the 5th dimension with this one. Wow!!! I will be drawing from this interview for a very long time. Thank you.
@JPage-fj7mb Says:
How can his focus be on helping his wife get to her goals (and her focus is helping him attain his goals), but his first value is ranked as himself? That doesn't sound right. The result of those two things are actually: 1) He prioritizes him, and 2)She ranks him above herself, so SHE prioritizes him. No wonder he likes someone without the same kind of values as him. The net benefit of both of their values/focus is that she AND he meet his needs, and hers are met if he has time/energy left, and she's met everyone else's needs first. Sounds like hidden selfishness.
@deenalight9271 Says:
Solitude let's u no yrself
@deenalight9271 Says:
Love the videos there is great healing vadic practices
@VSCNDED Says:
I would love to educate you guys through my experience and millions of other people that share the same insight. Tom there is an afterlife, and the best part about it is that we can visit it before we pass. We often neglect the power of guided meditation, binaural frequencies, creating the “OHM” sound from within our ROOTS. I got up to 2.5 hours of deep meditation before I was able to train myself to leave the physical & return. This practice is called Astral Projection or OOBE.
@JesseBooth01 Says:
Look. I think this is a hard truth. People are time poor, and sitting there, BEING IN YOUR OWN HEAD, when you are someone with mental health issues like myself, it is extremely daunting but it is important, otherwise things will NEVER change.
@Greenbeans-s6g Says:
I have a aureveyda book on health :) love this !! so on point with astrology right now and pluto moving into aquarius .
@deecastillo7133 Says:
Love Jay Shetty cuz he says things i can relate to n gives great info! Love his "wish"!!! His compassion for everyone is amazing n i feel the same way.
@pragmaticmusing6923 Says:
keeping up with the Jones's is and ever was the religion that we all we're pressured by but didn't know we've subscribed to.
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