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'Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!' - Victor Frankl
Often we think that living in the present moment means blocking out thoughts of the past and future.
But according to today's guest, Dr. Benjamin Hardy, maintaining a clear vision of your future self is actually one of the most effective ways to live more fully in the present.
By defining yourself in terms of the person you want to be, rather than in terms of your past behavior, you can immediately create change in the attitudes and actions of your present self.
So whether you're feeling stuck in your current situation, can't let go of past mistakes, or have simply lost momentum toward your goals, this episode will give you plenty of practical tips to get back on track and become the best version of yourself.
SHOW NOTES:
00:00 | Introduction
01:13 | How to Pull Your Future Self Into the Present
11:02 | Why Success Is Hard to Repeat
16:43 | Getting Clarity on Big Goals
23:14 | Why Frame of Reference Is Critical
34:27 | Staying Optimistic Despite Challenges
47:20 | The 80/20 Rule in Goal Setting
54:24 | How to Avoid Deluding Yourself
1:01:28 | Practical Steps to Becoming Your Future Self
QUOTES:
'The more connected you get to the future self, the more able you are to actually appreciate this moment, the more you're able to see that what you do here and now matters. ' [02:02]
'I think that often we miss this moment because we don't connect it to the future. And what a lot of the researchers on meaning say is that this moment only has meaning because of what it means in the future.' [04:58]
'You don't have to commit to something for the rest of your life. But like, what do you want to commit to for the next three to five years? Like, what are you going to start really investing in?' [17:55]
'Journaling is just a way for you to actually structurally reframe anything that happened and then turn negative events into positive growth.' [22:26]
'I think it's a big aspect of emotional freedom and emotional maturity, is just realizing you're the only person who's comprehending your own experience, and so you get to define it however you want.' [42:45]
Follow Dr. Benjamin Hardy:
Website: https://benjaminhardy.com/
Twitter: https://bit.ly/3I93R76
Facebook: https://bit.ly/3MOpWLF
Instagram: https://bit.ly/3Ie5gsS
Medium: https://bit.ly/3tSIQZi
Preorder Be Your Future Self Now: https://amzn.to/3q4EzRk
Whats your technique to quickly change your frame of reference?
@SilasPath Says:
Frame is story.
@TonyDMartin Says:
This gives me hope.
@BeOutstanding Says:
Expectancy theory
@Alfred-q8x Says:
An Lol! deep deep deep deep deep deepdeep deep deep down inside,the way i be think aint right!
same to say about the violence in the whole world aint right either
just doing wrong aint right
@Alfred-q8x Says:
how can you change the way you think period?
Or how can we be grown enough to know better than to be thinking the way we be thinking?
i just thought about it a few times and wah lah!
@spintillimdizzy2340 Says:
y did he say advice like that lmaooo
@morgeneichendorf7597 Says:
I'm stuck on normally you'd be upset your home is a mess. I'm sure your partner has as much or less time than you to clean so why don't you clean it if you don't like it??
@RosaniMazola Says:
Gezzz let the guy speak
@michaelvatcher4661 Says:
My father said, "Check out Benjamin Hardy." YouTubed him. I'm a big fan of Tom Bilyeu's content. Seeing the two together was an exciting find! Excited to watch this today!
@897ala Says:
This was so great! Thanks Tom and Benjamin!
@motivationalaffirmation6656 Says:
I pray for everyone who's struggling , broken hearts, tough situations in their lives. I hope life will be kind to all of you! ❤️❤️
@mohibquadri177 Says:
Willpower doesn't work !
What a Superb book 📗 it is.
Benjamin is an amazing author & the best thoughtful influencer.
@jaydeharris7028 Says:
Predicting< a reversal of a trend is risky, and even worse, I believe there is more to this market than we understand currently. When people are losing, they don't aim to increase their average, but that can only change if you have a personal trade guide and signal provider like that of Fyetus Dogan which has made me almost 9.5 on a 2 btc Trade capital over the last 2 months. Make the wise decision. Markets fluctuate in cycles that can last anywhere from a few days to several years. In the case of B -TC, it's difficult to make a bullish case simply from looking at the chartsyt
@almapurcell7425 Says:
there is a movie where the guy gets to go back in time and relive the moments of his life https://youtu.be/7OIFdWk83no
@Radspad77 Says:
A reframe to the question, "how is this the best thing that could have happened," is to ask oneself, "how can this be redeemed?"
@tinaankaradesigns254 Says:
move toward goal after divorce? goal mean happiness since you are not a robot to be at work next day
@KhushSoul Says:
Always enjoy listening and learning from Dr. Benjamin Hardy. I do have a quick question, Is frame of reference similar to the meaning you want to give the experiences in your life?
@thebeardedmanswoodshop Says:
I'll help be your future self. Anytime you can spend with your children to the point that there is no difference between you and them,. You'll only look back wishing there were more of those times in your life, Period. 🙏
@mohamedElyas97 Says:
Tom bilyeu Im addiction in your vedio after long suffer with overthinking I want to ask you does stop random thinking give the brain with no thinking is good ....
I become good in stop thinking by wach and observe and focus does this have effect
@NorthStarPNW Says:
I agree, properly framing our situation is EVERYTHING. But we should be gentle with our old framing; it likely arose for good reason even if now it must be changed. The ultimate reframing tool: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
@agentx3093 Says:
He looks alike Elon Musk
@manalimahadik4100 Says:
First thinking why does he looks similar to Elon musk 🤔
@BobPaddock Says:
Decision Augmentation Theory purports that every decision we make is influenced by our future.
@BobPaddock Says:
His opening sounds like Bert Goldman's Quantum Jumping.
@denisejuarez5266 Says:
Ayeeee Benjamin
@jerryjayhunter7128 Says:
Great podcast to have in the background 👏👌
@nicolesaad1318 Says:
Tom has the best YouTube channel!
@gssci Says:
Davey wavey looks a lot older and wiser
@PositivelyMe Says:
filters on snapchat and other platforms have helped me realize how filters can change how i view myself and the world
@tommooe4524 Says:
Sounds like Kamala Harris and her passage of time speech
@vivianaarose Says:
Ben is ALWAYS amazing. I never watch anything of him from which I don't emerge stronger and more clearly defined. Thank you!!!!!! Love these podcasts from IT!! Thank youuu!
@parisabehbodi7318 Says:
so good conversation, also he looks like Ilan Mask 🙂
@andogonzalez Says:
This is everyhting. I am the most optimistic person of my family and friend group. Hands down. Everything good and bad that happens has a lesson to teach us. But... I never realized how negative I am about my day-to-day responsibilities. I always feel like I dont have time, and I will not accomplish enough. This makes me feel and think more constrained than I ever noticed. I think this video is finally gonna change me, and Im gonna dedicate time to my goala everyday even if the world burns (which it wont, but my past self seemed to think everything could crumble if I dont take care of everything)
@TheDaud14 Says:
Elon Musk??
@cyn2398 Says:
Reminds me of the movie click. It’s a good perspective to be more present and living in the moment with intention!
@jengre3070 Says:
You can't say losing a child is the best thing that ever happened to you. It's offensive to the child for a start. The pain for the parent is beyond words. Ben means well but has no idea.
@fitnessuniverse111 Says:
actually,those are bunch of new age prophecies,or sublimation of all kinds of popular "life coach" style of youtube gurus.
from Napoleon Hill to toxic positivity and self-delusion with manifest money in your hand by imagine it or whatever.
so,if you do it,great ...if not,you're fault.
i would say,be rational,but try hard to do that,so if one succeed,great.
@GAL_JH Says:
Tom your lovely, you pay attention, you listen and you get it
@Star5dg Says:
I think alot of people speak in a different context but with similar meaning. For me Gabor mate simplfies why our behaviours patters etc occur. Gabor mate amazing
@lashawn369 Says:
Checking in from the DMV.
@sreenandhana8429 Says:
Thank you
Because of this podcast, i am going to make my worst thing the best thing in my life.
@scottk1525 Says:
The "do what your future self would want" logic always gets on my nerves. As if your future self is simple-minded, and would make one clear, decisive choice in any given scenario. But how do I know what my future self wants? Does my future self want me to work harder so that my future self is more successful and can better provide for his family? Or would my future self want me to spend more time with my family, even to the possible detriment of future self and fam? The truth is, future self is just as complicated as present self, and taking future self into account often times makes choices just as difficult, if not more so.
@obiodigboh1304 Says:
Thank you Tom & team. I need to listen to this another 3 times, at least…every exchange between Tom & Ben dropped gold bars of wisdom
@MarleneChism Says:
Benjamin is the King of bringing theories to practical use.
@IvaTarleCoaching Says:
This is amazing, I read all the things Ben spoke about and love how he digests them into a simple chunks. Being seduced by smaller achievable goals...yup, yup, yup. And Ben you changed so much...
@acajudi100 Says:
Thank you for these EXCELLENT videos.
The American people need help and you know it! Sending money etc. to foreign governments, as your own people are being killed, and starved out of housing, food etc. is INSANITY, and it will backfire big time.
TRUST IN GOD!
Dr. Ron Paul tells the truth:
https://youtu.be/dV2zGmj5Wuw?t=42
I left the USA on 11-2-2021 . Please leave , and go where you are safe, and you can afford.
Edwin Starr..WAR! War is everywhere, and all lives matter. Thank you Tracy Chapman..Talking about a Revolution..
All citizens around the world are being killed by evil demons!
I moved to Queretaro, Mexico on 11-2-2021, at 79, because my USA became too deadly and expensive. I pray people on pensions, or can work online, would just leave, because USA does not care about us! ..
Karma never loses an address, and EVERYONE will reap what they have sown. GOD is in charge, so we better behave or else...Put a d before anger, and you get danger. Stay alert always people, and be ready to defend yourselves.
SLUMS:
https://youtu.be/uq6DR-RNuw8?t=88
@acajudi100 Says:
I kept journals from age 15 to the present 79.(written, audio, and video) Please date them, and just use a notebook, or legal paper, and staple. Use both sides. Put day of the week on the heading. Example 3/19/2022 Saturday. Be honest with yourself, and best to be alone, when you write or talk. Wonderful to reread or re listen anytime. Tell the good, bad and ugly.
@acajudi100 Says:
It is excellent to keep audio, video, and written journals. Please date and day of the week.
Treat everyone, like you want to be treated.
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