To Anyone Feeling Stressed & Stuck In Life Right Now, WATCH THIS! | Susan David on Impact Theory

To Anyone Feeling Stressed & Stuck In Life Right Now, WATCH THIS! | Susan David on Impact Theory

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Get 15% OFF your first year at Impact Theory University. https://www.impacttheoryuniversity.com/YouTube15 Listen NOW to the IT Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/impact-theory-with-tom-bilyeu/id1191775648 On Today's Episode: If you're in the middle of emotionally trying times, lost your job, death and grief over loved ones and failing relationships, we know emotional pain f*cking sucks! But what now? Sitting in these emotions forever isn't practical or healthy. So, what are the options? Bottle it up, push those feelings aside, and push through! You're hardcore, you're badass, nothing is going take you out. Just don't think about it, move on and get gritty. OR… Let the pain take over until you feel like a puddle of nothing. Everything feels hopeless, the pain is unbearable, and how could you ever smile again? Neither of these extremes are healthy ways to cope with your emotions, and as adults, if we're honest, the majority of us suck at processing emotions. We get angry and take it out on the people closest to us. We go to work sad and hurt over a fight with our partner, now we can't focus, productivity is low, and the quality of our work sucks. Susan David, Harvard medical school psychologist and author of the #1 WSJ bestseller, Emotional Agility, has some strategies we can all start implementing today to learn how to process our emotions in an effective and healthier way. Her core message is that 'emotions are data, not directives.' We're facing some really challenging times ahead and we've been fighting and hoping for better days since pre-Covid. This conversation answers how to deal with the difficult thoughts and use emotions as data instead of allowing them to direct a story of you starring as the victim. You can have every valid reason to fuse with painful emotions, it doesn't mean they're helpful in the moment. Create space, observe what you're feeling, and identify the signpost. Check out Susan David's book, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life: https://amzn.to/3aHKw25 Check out Susan David's first Impact Theory Interview, Make Your Negative Thoughts Serve You: https://youtu.be/y8bwEgCcOXs SHOW NOTES: 0:00 | Introduction to Negative Thinking 4:06 | Unhealthy Ways We Face Emotions 13:30 | Identify Your Emotional Signposts 24:38 | Make Space for Emotional Confusion 39:15 | The Secret Weapon Against Tragedy 50:35 | Don't Allow Emotions to Write Your Story 1:11:01 | Strategies to Avoid Emotional Fusion QUOTES: 'The difficult emotions feel really tough, but what they are pointing to, what they are signposting, is often something that we care about…' [1:16] 'The reality of life is that beauty and fragility hold hands with one another.' [3:39] 'There is a world of difference between being stubborn versus being stupid.' [9:01] 'When we ignore those difficult emotions we also turn ourselves away from the ability to adapt and to be effective in our lives.' [9:44] 'It is not about getting hooked on the difficult emotion, but rather recognizing that our emotions are data [...] they signpost things that we care about, but they are not directives.' [23:28] 'We deal with the uncertainty by becoming more adept with emotions.' [30:52] 'If you don't have your values in place, you won't ever risk tragedy because all you can see is that tragedy was bad, [...] but if you have a value system that mandates you risk tragedy then it becomes worth it.' [41:13] Tom Bilyeu 'The true tragedy is when we don't know what our values are, and when we are literally risking our lives...' [48:51] 'We are learning from our emotions so we can step into the wisdom of our values, and that's why emotions are data and not directives.' [59:14] 'Acceptance is a prerequisite to change, [...] Acceptance is about facing into the truth of your experience and the truth of your difficult situation.' [1:09:48] 'Preparing for connection happens when you connect with yourself.' [1:33:13] Follow Susan David: Website: https://www.susandavid.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/SusanDavid_PhD Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susandavidphd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susandavid_phd/

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@TomBilyeu Says:
Which piece of advice from this episode resonated with you the most?
@cameronw4323 Says:
This has to be one of the best episodes hands down.
@missblackman88 Says:
Ive heard this so many times and still find it so captivating and helpful ! love her :D
@patriciamarshall4104 Says:
@tombilyeu please stop interrupting her 😢
@deborahnagel9011 Says:
404 page not found
@theoldbk5419 Says:
I love how she says yuhhhh!!
@davidwhittaker2075 Says:
Fantastic interview … even with the South African accent lol! Very thoughtful and reflective ….
@Josh-pn4qb Says:
Ads throughout the talks are tacky and annoying.
@andyvega-hazas6832 Says:
This was so interesting but man, It felt to me like Tom was interrupting constantly, so it was hard to follow Susan’s advice until the end! It’s important to let talk and not ask and interrupt constantly, because the flow and direction of the conversations changes. I.e the part of the strategies: labeling, using words, then, Tom would ask and interrupt and then I would lose sight of the fact that we were talking about strategies altogether. Did someone else have this feeling? I think if you ask a question, it is important to hear the answer fully, patiently. 😢
@smorrowsteve Says:
Loved hearing this message and conversation. Thank you for continuing this work.
@jaykaye562 Says:
This was so, so interesting. Thank you for bringing this to us
@user-cl6uj5bn2f Says:
I love how she talks about the pathology of toxic positivity/bottling. It seems this way of dealing with difficlt emotions has been pushed onto mainstream society these days
@miguelnascimento9018 Says:
Great interview Tom! Susan David is the best in emotional area! I knew her in your first interview and since then I have following her. Thank you for your great job!
@jamesjay6642 Says:
Thought creates reality and then says 'I didn't do it' - David Bohm.
@alexandercinca7093 Says:
Man, this gives me the chills!
@TheLivingMirror Says:
I really needed this one. Perfect timing. 👌 Thank you both for your considerate, consistent contributions. 🔥🙌🙏
@MAYA888-8 Says:
🦋
@asha_like_that Says:
life changing conversation and i haven't finished watching it yet!
@niman6505 Says:
This is a GREAT episode. The last 20 min was my favorite.
@BinaryBitesG Says:
What is amazing about this podcast is how exciting both sides are about this. They love what they are doing and they don't just do this for the views, they value every vocabulary. best youtube podcast.
@michellechristina8770 Says:
Such an amazing interview so much gold I feel so grateful to have access to this information. Thank you Tom, thank you Susan. What resonates most is the value placed in being seen. I grew up in a household where often I was not seen and in fact even ignored by family members. It broke me down, as a child I was angry a lot especially as a teenager and anger was all anyone could see. I’m not angry anymore bc I show up for that 5yr old girl. I see her I listen to her I get to understand her and in doing that it’s changed and continues to change who I am and how I show up in the world. Self compassion has been game changer for my personal growth. Susan you planted some seeds about 3-4 years ago that I am so grateful for thank you. 🙏🏻 Thanks again for all the content you put out Tom, I’m huge fan. Take care 💛
@rohinidilipd7162 Says:
Bless her heart! Bless her heart for raising the issues about false positivity. God! Thank you so much!
@rohinidilipd7162 Says:
Bless her heart! Bless her heart for raising the issues about false positivity. God! Thank you so much!
@erics1140 Says:
Thank you Tom and Susan ! This bordered on the profound for me.
@ahmedm.h.ibrahim1768 Says:
I read her book on Emotional Agility about 4 years ago (was my very first book on Kindle and best by far). Seriously, I can't be more thankful for what she wrote in it. Gave me invaluable insight that will stay with me FOREVER! Thank you so much, Dr. Susan and thanks a million for hosting her, Tom!
@pintu_2881 Says:
Hello sir I have been following you since 2018.. and i love your all works and interviews.. never misses a single video, One of favourite video is of Tim grover which always motivate me ( as per Mel motivation is crap which i agree)or make me feel good.. i get up early in the morning at 4am sleep by 9pm never sets an alarm.. drink 1.5 liter of lemon water every morning afterwards meditation and then gym and my best time to listen your video in my workout session.. i have taken premium membership so ... You know it.... Just wanted to say one thing some of your videos voice quality i mean audio level is so low ki it's very hard to listen so please make sure if someone is listening ur video it should be properly audible in louder environment... Hope you don't mind.. love from India
@deckchaironthetitanic Says:
Another Harvard-trained shylock who couldn't make it without the full support of the NWO. Luv, a real doctor.
@lassanaiofficial Says:
Excellent interview but so many situational questions. I think it would have been more effective to ask general questions and have her answer. It felt too much like Tom was seeking life advice for his personal experiences vs seeking answers to experiences that we all have gone through.
@robertashaffer3950 Says:
What a phenomenal discussion!! I have learned so much! Amazing 🙏🏻🙏🏻I am going through a very difficult time right now. This has been very helpful. Tom, you ask the best questions. Thank you 🙏🏻
@bunnytarot Says:
This was absolutely brilliant, she is totally thorough and bang on. I think EQ is perhaps even more important than IQ personally. Appreciate this broadcast & it’s so timely.
@brianfoster8738 Says:
Tom I have experienced in the past 3 years the loss of my very dear only child (we had an extremely close bond) . I lost my good friend and only business partner and most recently my brother, my only sibling. It has turned my world upside-down to say the least and my current marriage has been reduced to roomate status as I comptemplate leaving. During this time I have experienced my emotions betray me when I acted on them, I have had people turn their backs on me ( Primo Levi ) because they couldn't bare the pain, and so much more. As I consciously attempt to delve into my soul in search of my true self, I find this discussion with Susan to be one of the most fascinating I have heard. God I wish I could sit and talk with you both. This journey could easily be one of being stuck on the round about as I attempt to navigate the many facets of my life. I hope the lessons learned here will give me the tools I need. This is indeed the most difficult journey of my life.
@justreviewedForYou Says:
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️tysm 😍😍
@drewe9514 Says:
Love her idea/mention to heal the inner child at any age.. On a side note, thought Tom lost the balance of interjecting where it turned into not letting her get the words out when she was talking. A little too much of interrupting the flow this episode.
@CoconutBanger Says:
Stressed and stuck is an understatement for me. In 1 month > broken engagement, layoff, loss of home and relocation. I'm completely lost in the process of a career pivot after repackinging my skills and experience to appeal to many new industries for over 12 months. I'm obsessed with finding a GREAT job, but am now finding issues getting interviews because of expired time in unemployment.
@synergywellnesspodcast Says:
This is one of my Favourite Episodes!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!
@elmunir2703 Says:
Thanks
@anasofduarte Says:
Some thoughts: feeling disconnected gives us a chance to evolve our ego resists change to feel disconnected means that your energy isn’t aligned with your reality running away from our problems to avoid feeling hurt is one of those reasons u feel that way to numb our senses from thus makes us feel disconnected. you live automatically which causes you more pain on the long term your comfortable reality begins feeling hostile and against character you don’t resonate in the same way as the environment around you this makes you feel drained introspection, and inwards reflection are NECESSARY being disconnected doesn’t mean you are broken it means you are ready to tune into something else, to shift something external :) feelings are temporary, and they are crucial for us to become aware of what is happening inside of us we are transforming daily it’s about finding your heart position every single day, like testing the water before you shower, learning the “temperature” that suits you, and turning that into an association
@divinesilence Says:
Tom does some of the best interviews I've seen, much better and to the point than Joe Rogan who I like as well... But the more you talk about the economic crisis, the more you are speaking your reality into existence. As a Man Thinketh in his heart, so it's he.
@revathyk9082 Says:
My Goodness !!! I have been following this for the last two years and it really has worked out in many ways for me. I am so happy to see the same being conveyed by one of the brilliant field experts in psychology. 1. Being self-compassionate is the first place to start for developing emotional agility. Because it is highly essential to value our inner self or our inner child and be aligned with it to make the best out of our lives. 2. Accepting/Healing from negative emotions and then focusing on positivity is like the two sides of the same coin because blindly focusing on positivity will not protect us from our deeply hidden or falsified negative emotions. Only when we make peace with the negative emotions, we would be able to make the fullest out of being/becoming positive. Thank you so much for sharing such wonderful insights on dealing with difficult thoughts and emotions, the most essential need for flourishing beyond our hardships and setbacks in life.
@MichaelaSmith Says:
Absolutely brilliant conversation. Thank you
@planktosbazaar Says:
Whoa, universal freakiness—literally 80% of what you all were talking about is stuff I’ve been working through and analogizing the past couple of days . this video showed up in my email from you today literally 20mins after I sat down with a lingering uncomfortable emotion in the back of my mind, and unsure of why it was there. Thanks Tom and Susan, I now have the answer!
@mlimrx Says:
Thank you Tom one of your best interviews on topics we rarely discuss and understand.
@johnbrewer1430 Says:
One thing she gets wrong about happiness is that the Declaration of Independence says "pursuit of happiness." Nowhere does it say you will catch it, or you are guaranteed to have it. That is on you.
@mabes8804 Says:
Damn I think I didn't understand much of what was said in this episode, although I really should… my emotions are out of control most of the time. Guess I'll give it another go.
@chaddy-me-boy8299 Says:
I use the the analogy of people getting on the people mover at the airport.
@michandrevanvooren6243 Says:
😅Weirdest thing was I just heard her speak and searched where she’s from 🇿🇦 (just knew it). Great interview 👌🏾
@jacolineloewen6530 Says:
I was pursuing the right values - valiant. Social contagion is powerful.
@cathrineshaffer2055 Says:
Separating my true self from the emotions, thoughts and stories that I once thought defined me. I learned/ am learning to become the observer... It really makes space to see who I really am and to allow that space to build my dreams.
@adammendoza4800 Says:
This was a great one!
@themovingdance2744 Says:
I believe thinking positive is rubbish and nothing comes without hard times. I am between a rock and a hard place with health problems and being able to find a solution

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