This episode was recorded on March 12, 2021.
In this episode, Mikhaila, Jordan, and Tammy Peterson cover the Understand Myself Couples Report—a feature in the Understand Myself Personality Report, which you receive after both members of a compete the https://understandmyself.com/ process. The idea behind it, as the name suggests, is to help you better understand your own and other people's personalities. After going over Jordan and Tammy's report, we dive into the different personality types, the benefits of the report, negotiating with your partner, disciplining children, and much more.
Go to https://understandmyself.com/ to access the Understand Myself assessment.
If you enjoyed this conversation, be sure to subscribe!
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Chapters
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[00:00] The Understand Myself Couples Report
[01:17] Agreeableness
[07:54] Motivations in a Relationship
[09:56] The Understand Myself Test
[11:13] Compassion
[12:16] Negotiation
[12:18] Conflict Avoidance
[15:54] Reluctant Agreement
[19:07] Stupidity
[20:35] Politeness
[23:18] How to Bark
[23:38] Extraversion
[23:58] Enthusiasm
[27:42] Assertiveness
[30:54] Conscientiousness
[31:50] Industriousness
[34:14] Orderliness
[36:36] Jordan's Reader's Digest Joke
[37:05] Enthusiasm
[37:44] From Virtue to Pathology
[38:52] Extroverted vs. Introverted Partners
[42:20] Neuroticism
[45:57] Oxytocin, Vasopressin, & Bonding
[50:24] Openness to Experience
[51:21] Intellect
[53:19] Openness
[58:00] Disruption & Meds
[01:00:35] Behind the Self Authoring and Personality Tests
[01:02:14] Personality Tests for Children
[01:04:07] Julian's Tippy Cup Story
[01:12:15] Disciplining Children
#MikhailaPeterson #JordanBPeterson #TammyPeterson #UnderstandMyself #Relationships #Couples
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The Body Language between them makes me think theyre lying.
@AnnaMSarkisyan Says:
A true man of God. That takes a lot of effort and daily practiced commitment.
@chelseainman4285 Says:
5:39 I’m sorry……Jordan considers himself HIGH on agreeableness?? 😅 (GREAT way to check this is LAUGHING. Highly agreeable people give laughs and smiles to others easily. Does Jordan strike you as that type? Jamie - pull up vids of Jojo laughing easily in the years and years of interview footage we got).
Yikes it’s really true about what they say of psychotherapists having the biggest unattended shadow….😬
@annevanduren7820 Says:
Hi Jordan and Tammy Peterson, and Mikayla-
Thank you so much for sharing your relationship-family insights with your fans.
It was such a treat for me to have a small glimpse of your communication styles interweaving with each other.
Unfortunately, I never saw my parents work through their difficulties.
It is such a delight to witness honest, transparent efforts to demonstrate how two different people negotiate life together and share common values.
It was great to see you laugh and for 1.5 hours to be pleasant and amicable, but also showing your temperament styles.
I did wonder how the obnoxious and immature protesting Toronto university students would react to how you continue to be wholesome and successful, attracting such a huge audience....and still are popular after removing yourselves from such a adverse environment.
Congratulations for demonstrating your courage, honesty, and tenacity.....
It is fantastic that your values are still shining.
Keep up the great work you do in the wider community. (April '26)
@hichamtlemcani7979 Says:
did somebody fart a 42:52
@officialcalvinwayman Says:
No wonder Jordan is who he is.
@rosemarie3915 Says:
Looking how these individuals are sitting on the couch. it appears that Jordan is open to his wife by his legs being open to her. She appears to be closed off by the crossing of her knee as a buffer between them. Both are on the extreme ends of the sofa, too. Just my observations. I admire him for his wisdom in prior videos.
@francesbeth2077 Says:
I kinda like when someone is nice or kind to me daily. 😂 I can easily reciprocate. Unfortunately, my disagreements can turn into a scuffle😂
@LornaPrince-i7u Says:
It's really interesting listening to you guys. great interaction a little comical . Must be nice to see your parents like this it certainly is a blessing to have such a good family structure.
Wow
May God continue to bless your family thank you guys for sharing.
Happy New Year
@LornaPrince-i7u Says:
Daughter looks a lot like her Dad.
@deborahwheatley1970 Says:
This is great 😊 it made me laugh so much because it made me realise how damn blunt and stubborn I am 😆.
I must be a bit of a strange one because my husband says I'm the kindest person he knows (his words not mine so I'm not blowing my own trumpet 🫣) but im very blunt and very truthful, I can't stand lies and I can't stand people that beat around the bush which leads me to upsetting people sometimes but it's totally unintentional because I'm only trying to help, I'm like just spit it out for crying out loud. This may be because my mother has schizophrenia and was sectioned many times when I was a child and young adult so I would always try to keep any stress out of my mum's life because she couldn't cope with it, she was a ridiculously agreeable person to the extreme, this made me a 'fake me' and my husband has really helped my real personality come out so now I'm extra truthful lol 😬 but that may not always be for the best I guess 🤷🏻♀️.
My husband can be a hot head but is also very compassionate and loving, he was a very very sick child having to have over 30 operations as a little boy so that has definitely impacted his personality, he will always apologize after an argument and we will always hug and make up.
I find it harder to say sorry 😬 but I actually really dislike conflict.
My husband has taught me that conflict is necessary sometimes to get things out in the open and I do agree with that now. He's also taught me as our relationship has developed to stop and listen to his point of view and something even agree that he was right and I was wrong which is hard for me because I like to be right 😂.
We are both introvert but he will still socialise and manage with relitive ease I'm exhausted just having people to the house for a cup of tea and a chat 🫣.
We love each other very much so that obviously helps a lot 😉.
@CraftyPenguin101 Says:
I scored 10th percentile in extraversion but 20th in neuroticism. Bruh
@HFROMO26 Says:
Thank you
@Christine-w8u7j Says:
Don't underestimate chemical imbalances such as the pill or mind altering drugs such as antipsychotic or antidepressants. The pill was quite good for me. Antidepressants still had depression. Seroquel made me into a zombie, no sense of self whatsoever. It almost ruined my family. I come off it slowly from 300mg. Big difference. My experience only, not advice.
@CaterinaChimentiphd Says:
Love this
@thaisplouvier5403 Says:
00:45 Jordan Peterson explains his preference to solve problems immediately with his conflict avoidance
4:00 Agreeableness
JP 95th / TP 29th
He gives everyone the benefit of the doubt
She is much more skeptical, tends to say no, wanting her own way, curt and blunt (direct), competitive
She's unlikely to flee from confrontation
JP doesn't like hurting people's feelings vs Tammy doesn't mind if they deserve it
7:51 "That was very sneaky and treacherous of you" Fear of betrayal
Disagreeable people are more likely to deceit in a self-serving way vs agreeable people avoid anyone getting hurt
He's informative, she's direct
Agreeableness = Compassion + Politeness
Compassion = concern about causing negative emotions
Compassion : JP 96th & TP 48th percentile
She stays on topic
22:30 He's high in politeness, she's very low
25:40 Extraversion
JP 98%
TP 88th
Enthusiasm : JP 92th, TP 86th
She'll say yes to any adventure he proposes
MP is 99% extraversion, low in politeness = narcissism
MP is high in compassion, she told her parents everything and always wanted to be around people
Assertiveness
JP 99% TP 81%
- Interrupting people in conversation
- JP has always been very talkative
32:56 Conscientiousness
JP 97th TP
Orderliness = disgust sensitivity, bothered by mess
JP 80th TP 41th
Industriousness : JP 99th TP 96th
JP left on his own device would work all the time
TP is very good at getting rid of unnecessary things (low fear of unknown)
Too much enthusiasm makes you manic
Extroverts are impulsive and fun to be around
TP's dad is very very extroverted and very impolite, her mom was very quiet
JP's mom is very high in enthusiasm, his dad is quite assertive and 50/50 in extraversion
44:20 Neuroticism
JP 74%
Depression increases neuroticism
Withdrawal
Volatility
48:00 Bonding for men is triggered by Vassopressin (stress) vs by Oxytocyn (safety) for women
49:20 Withdrawal
TP 3%
When healthy JP is low in withdrawal and a little higher in volatility
Most comedians are low in politeness
52:00 Openness
- creativity, interest in ideas, openness to experience
JP 98% TP 68th
Intellect
JP 97th TP 34th
philosophically minded, like non fiction
Men typically are higher on this one, women on openness
Openness
JP 96th TP 87th
Interest in aesthetics
TP's dad was low in openness
@ManuelTenorio-u1w6m Says:
You guys are amazing! Seriously I thrive to go beyond what you teach. Thank you for inspiring me. Love you guys I’m close but a lot of work to go.
@McLovinZB Says:
With this I just realized im neurotic 😩
@BrainReadError Says:
Guess it’s paid for now which is unfortunate
@rikkiharcourt3868 Says:
Just the sort of talk between people I like. No preening, no shouting, no cutting out for “my turn now” and no pressure for anyone to be a winner over the others. A good kind sensible equality. Very nice to listen to.
@FoundedWithin Says:
nice
@ItinerarySweat Says:
Excellent message from Jesus to help the world. Mr Jordan Peterson and Tammy Peterson to share the world wisdom from Jesus.God Bless you
@simplecreationsbyjoehackney Says:
My own personal understanding of myself is that my "alter ego" is a hillbilly/Redneck version of Jordan Peterson... 🫡💪🤣🤣🙃
@pryncess-ov-hell Says:
Interesting that Jordan has a more feminine temperment and is attracted to a woman with a more masculine temperment. Women tend to be more intuitive, inquisitive and analytical in my experience, so I'm sure this helps with his profession. Perhaps this partly comes from women needing to make sure a man is safe.
@sincerefaithfulness Says:
Beautiful family❤❤❤
@PjcalebFourie-bm5ct Says:
Awesome
@clairesioux1879 Says:
Yall sick
@clairesioux1879 Says:
Y’all be bullying her
@clairesioux1879 Says:
This is so uncomfy I’m gonna puke
@aaramse4329 Says:
I wonder why he talks so much for her. Isn't she an adult person who can speak up for herself. to me this is dominance.
@AltcoinAli Says:
Amazing. I adore you all. ❤🇨🇦
@rhondanerren4797 Says:
The biggest takeaway I see in this is seeing a family with a good flow of communication and respect for one another’s feelings. Priceless!
@scarletsummer3526 Says:
Being sick makes a difference too when it comes to parents.
@scarletsummer3526 Says:
Thats wonderful Jordon was pushy about solving problems. 🎉😊
@scarletsummer3526 Says:
This should be made into dating matching.
Seriously!!!!
Especially for the gentle personalities so they don't become so jaded.
Maybe anyway.
@karinmostert-p2k Says:
Thank you. Very informative and open
@jW-qx4qd Says:
Love to hear their family conversation…💕
@acquanellaogbemudia9930 Says:
Such a Blessed honest couple ❤❤
@rhondaharman8776 Says:
So pleased this came up on my feed. Wonderful interaction
@hezekiahdaggett Says:
This was awesome
@alexandrakelly4036 Says:
I’d love to hear more about the differences and how to overcome those? My husband and I have a ton of differences in our assessments.
@CarlosJimenez-rm9ly Says:
At min 25, something that idk if was caught, Tammy struggles with being out in public, and shes introverted having to learn how to strike up conversations, im introverted myself, and as ahe said “ive had to learn alot” and Jordan Peterson said “youre getting really good at that” that affirmation will help her keep learning, alot of people need that, the fact shes even trying, Good Job Tammy!
@juanitaanimus9132 Says:
I enjoyed this - many pertinent comments ~ I would have liked to share with my partner but too many personal anecdotes and he would have got bored. Any chance of precing this?
@Mr_M1dnight Says:
Jordan is in such a loving relationship with Mario Bosco.
@lerufilminternational5431 Says:
Very Interesting! and Inspiring!
@ernestpresents Says:
such a shame to have mikhaila involved. dr peterson was so much more powerful without her pollution.
@wormhole5679 Says:
Gen X really dropped the ball on marriage. They have gotten more divorces than like all of human history combined. Horrible role models.
@muhrpetuhr Says:
I love this! We need more happy long term couples talking about how their relationships work.
@Dearlion25 Says:
I’ve always thought its hilarious who talk about marriage and love who hasn’t been in marriage with child. I dont think human can understand fully until they have a child with spouse and love them to raise together.
I love hearing what love and relationship is by father who has wife and child. And who was actually there for them.
It just feels real and truth. Like teaching what real love is.
Thank you ❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
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